Posts Tagged "Being Defensive"

The #1 Thing Keeping You From Healthy Relationships and 3 Ways to Fix It

Posted by on Feb 12, 2013 in Blog | 0 comments

The #1 Thing Keeping You From Healthy Relationships and 3 Ways to Fix It

Women come to me with an array of heartbreaking journeys on their quest for the right person, belonging, and love. They all have unique stories and histories that bring them to my doorstep but there is one thing they typically have in common. Research shows that the one thing that stands in the way of people achieving loving healthy relationships is that they all avoid….   VULNERABILITY   Ick. Who wants to feel vulnerable?! Well that is the problem. In our effort to avoid feeling vulnerable we numb ourselves to other feelings. According to Brene Brown, a researcher who...

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The Power and Control Relationship Issue and How Counseling Can Help

Posted by on May 2, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

The Power and Control Relationship Issue and How Counseling Can Help

Many people don’t realize what control looks like, or even if it is occurring in their relationship. Some behaviors might become normal and you might not even realize that the way your partner reacts is considered controlling. Below you will find a helpful diagram that a colleague recently shared with me. This is often used as a tool to help people realize that they are in a relationship where control and manipulation play a roll. As you can see from the picture excessive control and manipulation is considered abuse. However it doesn’t have to be physical or sexual to be abusive....

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Are You In A Controlling Relationship?

Posted by on Jan 11, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Are You In A Controlling Relationship?

You might have a picture of what a controlling relationship looks like. However there are many hidden, and often missed signs of control that can cause you to feel like a prisoner to your own actions. Controlling relationships don’t  have to include someone determining what you wear, eat, weigh, or who you can spend time with, there are other signs. It doesn’t have to include checking Internet or phone call histories, stopping by where your partner said they were just to make sure, or enforcing a curfew for your adult partner. Before we get into different signs of control it is...

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What Does It Mean to Be Reactive? Can Counseling Help?

Posted by on Dec 28, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

What Does It Mean to Be Reactive? Can Counseling Help?

No one likes to be told they are reactive. But hearing it for the first time is especially difficult and confusing. What does it mean to be reactive? Being reactive is what it sounds like, reacting. What your friends or partner may be telling you or what you suspect on your own is that you may have the tendency to react to someone’s words or actions quickly, without thought, in a defensive manner. For example, something you might have said when someone told you that they think you are reactive is ” I am not reactive!” or “You’re the one that’s...

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How You Can Deal with a Passive Aggressive Partner

Posted by on Dec 14, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

How You Can Deal with a Passive Aggressive Partner

Dealing with someone who communicates passive aggressively can be an ongoing uphill battle. This communication style creates a road block to collaboration and growth. Passive aggression or communicating from a defensive standpoint can be treated successfully. Passive aggression or being defensive is a form of protection. While not all people are the same, some people who learn to communicate this way may be doing so to protect their inner child or true self. Communicating openly, honestly, and directly may cause them to feel too vulnerable so lashing out at others, jumping to a defensive...

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